V for Vendetta is one of my favorite movies. Hugo Weaving and Natalie Portman are both fantastic actors, and the writing is just outstanding. But I digress.
Another favorite quote of mine comes from the late great English playwright Oscar Wilde: I regard the theatre as the greatest of all art forms, the most immediate way in which a human being can share with another the sense of what it is to be a human being.
But what does that even mean? Do we, in fact, have a definition for what it is to be a human being?
The simple answer is no. We are ever evolving, adapting, and redefining what it means to be human. Look at technology. Now, anyone can carry a device in their pocket that can place the vast majority of the world's knowledge at one's fingertips. (And let me just say, I love my smart phone). Once upon a time, whoever had the most gun powder held the power. Before that the longbow. And before that it was fire (Rest in peace, Prometheus).
To utilize that most frustrating of catch-22s, the only constant is change. We change our minds, our clothes, and our attitudes on a daily, hourly, and sometimes minutely (or whatever) basis. So how dare we say what it is to be human? How dare we think we can, using the same words ever night, capture the essence of human nature?
Chaos. CHAOS. CHAOS!!!!
During my first week of Fitzmaurice voicework I've come to love with word. The beauty of the work we do is that it is geared towards taking all control away from you and making you simply respond to the hundreds of things that are inside of you at that very moment. And I have to tell you, it is one of the most annoying tasks in the world.
Saul Kotzubei, a master teacher in Fitzmaurice voicework, has been guiding us through a good bit of this half class - half teacher training 4 week long workshop, while also doing individual tutorials. While working in a private session, he said this to me (not these exact words, but close to it). I want you to let sound out in this position. But only if you want to. I want you to try and let whatever happens happen. But don't make it happen. Don't be too good of a student. If there's no sound, then don't force it. But don't force yourself to be silent either. But don't do what I tell you."
Its a walking mass of contradictions. Doing this work requires you to listen to your body. But if you listen too closely, you're going to overthink and limit your ability to simply react. But you can't not listen, because if you are simply having an experience, the experience becomes impractical because the ultimate goal is to find a way to make the work applicable to your craft and life.
I don't know if that even made sense. Rereading it, I can see how from the outside it sounds like a lot of crazy babbling. It feels that way on the inside sometimes. But you know what? The processing of the experience itself is part of the experience.
I guess I've written all that to say this: I think I've figured out what being human is all about. It's about everything. It's about what you had for breakfast. Its about the way you feel about the stupid things people tweet. Its about sitting in your apartment on a friday night and wishing you were doing something more exciting than blogging. But its also about what you didnt have for breakfast. Its about your decision to not call people out for the stupid things they tweet. Its about learning to be okay with doing what makes you happy rather than living up to some false ideal of what an exciting life in New York City should be. It's about being. And about not being. Its everything, and nothing, or maybe just a few things.
I'm still trying to put my finger on it. Or am I?
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